Autism is a complex disorders of brain development. Meaning difficult social interaction, repetitive behaviours, problems communicating etc. People with Autism can have how they relate and communicate with others effected greatly. It also can make it difficult to understand the world around them.
Every parents fear is having something “wrong” with their child, I for one am one of those parents. For two years I was in denial that Bub was “different”. I refused to let anyone tell me there was something “wrong” with him. I strongly believe that every child grows and learns at their own pace.
This all changed when I left the work force soon after Bub turned two. I seen a very different side to him as I was now with him 24/7. Before this, I only had the chance to have about an hour with him before it was time to go to bed before getting back up and going back to work.
Luckily for me, his grandmother runs a daycare. This is where he had been going for the previous year and a half so it became quite easy to trust her opinions and views. Although he was a child in her daycare, he was with someone who loved him and knew him inside and out.
After a couple of weeks of being home with him, I started picking up on everything I had been told before. Sure, before I had seen it, but living in denial is a bitch! I’m a stubborn woman, and I was damned if anyone would label my child. I just seen a child who learned to spin a plate, and who loved bright lights, and who kept to himself and was happy that way.
Then came the obsessions! Obsessed with ANYTHING he could spin. Wheels, plastic plates, toilet paper rolls, doorknobs, fans, anything he could balance and get to spin in circles. Walking through the hardware store he would throw a bit of the ceiling fans on display weren’t on. Which they never were, they were display! Try explaining that to a two year old while his world was ending.
When he walked through the doors of any house we entered, and there was a fan, it had to be turned on. Everyone knew this and usually did it for him. Lights had to be on, and then off, and then on!
He would even go as far as trying to spin wheels on actual cars.
When it becomes bedtime, he needed certain things in a certain spot. If not he would find them and put them in its place.
If we broke his routine even by 10 minutes, it was at least two weeks before it was back to normal and he was happy again.
He was extremely picky eating and would take hours to fall asleep at night.
His anxiety was out of control, loud noises, different scenery, crowds, certain people. I felt like I couldn’t go in public without a tragedy. Things that didn’t go how he thought, broke his little heart. These weren’t just tantrums anymore. This actually frustrated and hurt him.
I was coming to my witts end because he spent most of his day upset in some way. I didn’t know how to deal with this.
I decided I needed some help. I contacted Public Health which referred me to Early Intervention. “Perfect” I thought, I started to see a ray of hope. I had never heard from them for nearly 10 months. I live in a small town, so I was very put off. Calling every month, assured I would hear from someone “soon”
It wasn’t until the 10th month I finally met with this lady. She referred Bub to speech therapy, occupational therapy as well and mental health. In Alberta, you need all of the above assessments to be referred to the glenrose. Which specializes in Autism and other disorders. I had worked with three ladies for about 4 months. Appointments and meetings and paperwork. By this time I was 7 months pregnant with Boo which means I was already tired and inpatient. At the end of it all I was told that he was a “perfectly normal boy”
Now anyone who knows Bub, knows that’s different. He’s an amazing, smart, funny little turd. On a good day. But he struggles, and you can tell he’s frustrated by this.
I was told he his smarter then the average 2.5 year old, he knew his ABCs and could count to 20 and knew nearly every color and shape.
Feeling defeated, I dealt with it. I went above them and went to my family doctor for a referal to the glenrose. When I finally heard from them, they had told me his file wasn’t complete and it would have to be re done.
I have recently been involved yet again (7 months since Early Interventions first visit) and am about to do this process all over again. In hopes I get the answers both Bub and I deserve. I am no longer in denial and would like what’s best for my child and how to deal with whatever it is life throws at us. We are told that this time , there’s a good chance he will placed on the spectrum. As much as I’m unaware of what exactly that means, I’m aware that this is one step closer to the beginning of the rest of our lives.
I am constantly starred at in public, because usually Bub is overwhelmed by crowds and having a bit of an outburst. People snarl and make comments and expect me to scald him. I cannot scald a child for being anxious and overwhelmed as he does not know how to deal with certain situations. I sure as hell am not about to explain to them what I am going through with my child.
The comments I get from people, including my family, are unreal. Blaming vaccinations , his diet, etc. I am no longer allowing anyone to bring my parenting down as somedays all I want is for someone to take a walk in my shoes and see what it’s like
Autism, or whatever this may be, will not define who he is. He is his own person, and we will learn how to live as near normal of a life as we know how.
Sitting in our public health office this afternoon, I seen a young lady with a child around the age of two. He reminded me 110% of when Bub was that age. At risk of being judged, She told me her story as he was continuously rocking back and forth on her knee. I listened with every bit of my being, I sympathized, and I related. You could see the fear in her eyes. She was awaiting her sons results from his full assessment. I don’t know what it was, and where it will lead them but what I do know is I will keep her story close. At times where I feel alone, I will think of her and that sweet boy. I will remind myself that as difficult as this is as a parent, both Bub and I will get through this.
I now regret feeling as if anyone was trying to label my child, I was just being offered help when I didn’t think I needed it. If it wasn’t for my mother in law, I wouldn’t have taken all of the steps Again and again to get where I am now. I refuse to give up on Bub and knowing she is there as support is ever so greatfull
Never in a million years did I think something such as this would rear their ugly heads at me and my family. What I do know if whatever it turns out being, we will fight and we will win.
I will keep updated with his progress as the days go on. All I want for my child is him to live a happy, joyful and normal (as much as possible) life. I am interested in hopefully meeting other parents who have went through this at one time or another and how they deal. I know damn well I’m not the only one having a very difficult time with this